I’ve been struggling lately with the fact I find it really hard to be around the PJ people for whom I am supposed to be doing service work. It’s difficult to be so sensitive to energy that you can’t be around people. I was in the grocery store today and I was trying really hard to be in my heart and just send out Love, instead of being so affected by everyone’s energy that I was shutting down. It’s a fine line, as I’m sure some of you have experienced. I’m just a person stumbling along like everyone else, you know? Some days are easier than others. I’ve been reading a lot of stuff on the internet lately, which I don’t usually do, but it seems like there are a lot of folks out there who are aware of how quickly the energy on the planet is changing. It’s bound to be a rollercoaster ride, so we have to give ourselves permission to be confused sometimes.
With the ramping up of the attacks on us the past year it’s been a bit hard to stay neutral and stay in the heart. It seems like every day brings another lesson. I have found that all of my personal drama isn’t really serving me anymore, and I’ve been trying to figure out how to let go of all the angst from my childhood and family hurts. It really does take a lot of energy to maintain that drama, but knowing something intellectually is not the same as knowing it in the heart. My heart still wants to dwell on the old hurts even though I know I have to let go of them. It would be hard enough to do without the attacks, but the Universe must think I’m capable since I’m being forced to deal with it all on top of the attacks. So I practice forgiveness…
I know I can do it, it just becomes too much sometimes. So, I take another breath, I ask Jesus and Mary Magdalene to be with me, I let God’s love fill my heart, and I go on. Sometimes all you can do is take the next breath. And you also have to realize that every other person is dealing with essentially the same thing. Everyone has pain. Everyone has something to overcome. Everyone is sensitive to energy, even if they don’t know it, and they have to deal with it. Not everyone will deal with it though, so you are the example and I am the example. That is our service to the world.